Things My Mother Taught Me.
*FYI I don't actually have an emoji as a mother she just quite rightly doesn't want her photo all over my blog when she doesn't even have social media of her own.
So it's Mothers Day and Instagram is full of throwbacks of Mamas who'll never see the posts and Twitter is full of people complaining about it. The gifts have been given, the Sunday roast has been demolished and it's time to sit back and contemplate our Mum's, Grandmother's, maternal figures and pals who, let's face it, just run our lives for us.
I myself have long since come to the conclusion I'm just a twenty something year old version of mine. I am slowly morphing into my Mother and long gone are the days where it's just "oh you can tell who's daughter she is" or "oh sorry you sound EXACTLY like your Mum on the phone"....nowadays even I can see we're turning out to be one and the same.
I hear a lot of people say when they have kids they hear themselves uttering the words they swore they'd never say, the things their parents said to them, the warnings, the "well I did tell you so" and "you need to calm down before someone gets hurt". We all like to think we'll be cooler than our parents when we grow up but I think before I have even reached the offspring level I have found myself turning into a mini clone of my Mum and thought I'd share some pearls of wisdom she's taught me over the 24 and a half years we've spent together.
- Making an audible sigh when someone wipes their feet on the doormat only to step forward and tread muck and leaves into the floor anyway. I fear the next step is following her lead and putting down AN ACTUAL OLD BED SHEET in the hall when I know someone will be coming by.
- Saying "but did you actually move anything?" when told someone can't find something. Then proving them wrong by moving things, finding what was missing and then a highly sarcastic "OH LOOK" when it's found.
- Having more tupperware than any one human can actually physically need.
- Making sounds as a warning, no need for actual verbal words. This includes a variety of UH UH UH sounds when my niece is even thinking of doing something she shouldn't be. A sound passed through generations of mothers.
- Running the water till it's hot before using the dishwasher or washing machine.
- Commenting throughout the day on what state my washing might be on the line outside and then inevitably getting my hair off when it rained or we got home too late and it's damp. Actual entire load wasted.
- Saying "well put a jumper on" when someone mentions it's a bit parky indoors. Only relenting when everyone is wearing gloves and a hat in the living room.
- The sheer unwavering belief that a 'bit of fresh air will do you the world of good'. But it does.
- The sheer unwavering belief that toast and a cuppa can cure anything.
- Having a particular saucepan for a particular ring on the hob.
- Losing my mind over saucepan handles hanging over a hot ring. DO YOU WANT TO BURN YOUR HAND THOUGH?????
- The dripping sarcasm that ensues when someone in a nice car pulls over or turns without signalling. "Ohhhhh what a shame! You appear to have bought a new car without indicators?? You should take it back, get your money back, it's faulty.
- Exclaiming "OH I'LL DO IT SHALL I?" when someone mentions something but makes no actions to get up and do it.
- The famous line "what did your last slave die of?"
- The understanding that it's perfectly reasonable to take 12 pairs of shoes on a fortnights holiday because you need all the different combinations to all clothing eventualities.
- Always carrying an emergency bar of chocolate and or apple upon your person at all times. And in every bag. And every coat pocket. And in the car.
- The acknowledgement that even on a 25 degree sunny day "better take a cardi just in case there's a breeze". Always needing the cardi.
- The insatiable compulsion to go to the loo 3091849827358367 times before leaving the house or going to bed.
- See above but stopping at the services because "what if there's a traffic jam?"
- The importance of extending the scout's motto to 'just in case'. Lord knows there's a world out there and you'll be damned if you aren't prepared for it. Just in case.
The fountain of all knowledge, the one you ring up Every. Single. Day to ask another life question like "what do I do if my freezer is defrosting" or "how do I clean the oven?", Mum's really do make the world go round don't they? Happy Mother's Day all!
